Bleak Future

Future seems bleak...
bleaker then usual... blacker then normal..

zZzzzz

=(

ok. nursing is no longer an option I should persue any longer, coz there are better options such as taking another diploma in Biomedical Sciences, or doing a private A level degree...

but, the cost of doing this itself is staggering.. going to polytechnic again would set me off by $16,499 while the tuition fees for 2 years of A levels would set me off by up to $20,000...

thus, I think I'll try getting
1) Degree in Banking and Finance
2) Degree in Economics
3) Degree in Financial Management

OR

A) Degree in New Communications Media
B) Degree in Mass Communication
C) Degree in Entertainment Technology

while the 1, 2 and 3 would most definately guarentee a stable, possibly even prosperous future for me... I would have to isolate and reshape my interest in a subject all over again.

A, B and C are paved on my already substential professionalism in entertainment media, and my sculpted interest for it. However, the future of Mass Communicaiton seems to me like a path made of jagged steel swords, where one wrong step would ensure swift and certain death.. (not to mention the sheer, staggering working hours I'll have to fork out).

=/

I'm seriously so confused... I don't know what to take..

This is my final frontier in tertiary education, and probably the last thing ever that my parents might fund me for... I seriously don't want to botch this up..

=(

On an even more heavier note, I'm not hearing much good news about the upcoming life of an Ammunition Tech..
The depots are going to be severely understaffed with the management's decision to cut down manpower by more then 50% by June..
With one more new giganticonomous (I mean BIG) ammo depot opening, we're going to be stretched beyond human limit!.. sigh...

... and most ammunition bases (yes, bases, not retail outlets), are going to be running 24/7 by the time the year is over, or even earlier..

BAH.

This is beyond shitty lah..







I'm like in a super foul mood now...
shall go and exhaust myself swimming later, maybe then I can sleep better.

Happy Tenth Anniversary!

I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you
I love you

*grins*

*hugs tightly*


... I really love you...

... lost

you know, there are some times... when things go wrong, and you know it's your fault... but you can't help it?

there are times, when the person whom you love cries, and you are unable to be there to comfort him?

there are times, when you want to be with the person you love, but he can't be there for you?

these are times you try, again and again...


If there is anything I hate NS more for, is for its blatant, unrepentent ability to tear two people apart. Shred hearts asunder and shatter relationships...

Its a forgone fact that relationships are ruined in the face of being drafted by the SAF, even the banner fluttering at the front of the BMTC warbles -

"Its not what you leave behind, but what you gain in the days ahead."

they even have the cheek to post a picture of a guy and a girl parting ways.


... you simply have to hate the army for that...

I have so many, many commitments to make, my life is currently a mess of ground zero time zones, where there are weeks on end when I just go home to sleep only.

My time spent

Out of 168 hours:

Unescapable Timings:
1) SAF - 60 hours
2) Travelling - 14 hours (i'm not kidding. 90 mins travel to camp, 90 mins travel from camp.)
3) Sleeping - 49 hours
4) Dinner - 7 hours
5) Church - 5 hours
Total : 135 hours

Left: 33 hours

Essential Timings :
1) Band Practice - 9 hours
2) Gym - 3 hours
3) Swimming - 3 hours
4) Admin Time (Email, Writing etc) - 3 hours
Total : 18 hours

Left : 15 hours

Untabulatable Timings :
1) Alvin - 10 hours
2) Studying - 5 hours

Ten hours?

TEN HOURS FOR A RELATIONSHIP?

yeah... I understand how he can get so pissed of with me sometimes... even if I spend the remaining of all my time left on him, its 15 hours at the most.

*cries*

sigh.... dear... don't be angry with me k...

sorry sorry sorry...

I... really love you...











I'm so sorry...











.... *cries*

Future Sight

dreams, all humans have dreams and ambitions that lead them down whichever paths they choose or want...



some people choose correctly, some people choose unwisely... each comes with a consequence.



sigh...



I have a couple of dreams that I want to fulfill...



ok. Not that I must fulfill all, but standing at a crossroads, its pretty much a dark horizon that I can see round the corner..



I'm referring to university admission...



=/



Whilst each degree would take me down completely different and specific paths in life, I'm at a loss to balance "interest" with "feasibilty" and "prospect"



where,

Interest = I

Feasibility = E

Prospect = P



Future = F



Thus, I equate : F = (I+E)/P, where determinent is "F", "P">"F" and "I" and "E", refers to an ordered reference standard scale of 1 to 10.

"P" refers to an ordered reference inverted scale of 10 to 1



ok. There are 3 choices -

1) Video Producer

I = 7

E = 9

P = 7



F = (7+9)/7

F = approx. 2



2) Economist

I = 4

E = 6

P = 2



F = (4+6)/2

F = 5



3) Dermatologist

I = 10

E = 4

P = 4



F = (10+4)/4

F = 3



so, obviously the career with the best future would be an economist...

for me at least...



sigh...



crap. actually the above is all just bullshit and piss I came up myself...



Enrolment for courses into University would be starting in less then a month, and I'm wondering if I should do a degree in either Economics, Nursing or New Media...

One is a business subject,
Another is a medical subject,
and the last one is an arts subject...

so far, the prospects for "new media" seems to be the least appealing, coz... I don't have any wish to work as a journalist... and my current skills for video editing, I would dare say, is more then sufficient for anything mediacorp or SPH would throw at me...
but the upside is I would probably get my degree in 2 years, and flying colors... presumably.

Economics would be cool... umm.. coz I could help Alvin earn big bucks... LOL. but being the pessimistic person I am, I'd most likely undermine a bull market to be a bear market and a bear market to be a dead fish market..

(author's note : bull market and bear market are terms that market analysts call a booming market and a ailing market respectively... I came up with the term "dead fish" market to signify a market that has undergone "stagnentation" - meaning that the fish died, bloated and floating on the surface... and its soon going to go into "depression" when it sinks to the bottom to be consumed by the scavengers.)

it would give me a pretty bright future, but knowing myself all too well, I'd find myself struggling to place digits on digits, and the "rush-and-lag" monotany of the entire business industry would literally kill me...

Finally.. there is the nursing option...
The ONLY reason why its in my list is because, seemingly, that seems the only avenue for me to enter the medical industry with my current "zero expertise" status. Worse, I don't even have a biology background beyond primary school...
But, my mum seems very optimistic about the extremely high demand for future nurses, and prospects for a Singaporean becoming a high ranking nursing officer seems to be close to a hundred percent.

oh.. but still, the only reason why I chose nursing was because, that path would allow me to persue a medical degree later on in life, WHICH would bring me a step closer to my ultimate dream.. - being a dermatologist...

sigh...

I'm still torn between options...

what to do
what to do
... what to do....

I think I've consulted experts on every field already... but there isn't any solid reason for me to be siding any degree yet....

=/


or maybe I should be a theophysicist.

recently, I've been coming up with alot of scientific explantions for the existance of a divine being beyond human comprehension.
and... yup.. haha.. i'm ready to spar with alvin again..

... much to his dismay... i think..


Lol.. as much as I sulk after arguing with him... i do love debating comprehensive theological debates.

xD






I love ya.
Thinking of you everyday...
*hugs*

budget woes.... budget woes...

work.
*eyes glaze over*
work.
*eyes glaze over*

... explosives... clockwork fuzes... TNT... Trinitrotoluene... PTNC..

I think I'm going nuts...








.. sometimes.... everything counts for nothing anymore...

your life's achievements can break in a flash,
your bestest friend could become your archenemy overnight,
your greatest skill could become your stumbling stone...


.. one of my greatest weakness is my inability to keep contact with people... I may make impressions, I may make friends... but like a structurally unsound bottle, everything leaks away, slowly.. one by one... bit by bit..

and it doesn't help that my memory isn't good either..


I'm not your average guy.
I'm not even average-ly smart.

I can't remember what I ate for lunch, or what I did yesterday without trying hard.

But I know, that I'm not... normal...







... emoing...

i hardly blog nowadays, because I just come back home so tired... everyday...

and there are a few things I've gotta do this week...

1) Register for my driving license..

hmm.. I wonder if my mum will freak out if I choose to take a bike course instead...
oh.. wait. thats redundant. She will..
nevertheless... I'll try and get both license for driving a car AND a bike.

2) Start attending a night Japanese Class and get JLPT 1 from Febuary onwards, with funding from my dad.

For those who are staring at the above statement depreciatingly, I would like to inform you that my total usable monthly pocket money is currently $200 at most.
If YOU can survive on that, I'll eat my socks.

3) Go to the gym twice a week. If Monday, Wednesday and Friday aren't running days, go for a swim instead.

I need to keep myself fit. Coz I'm most likely not going to get a drop in my Pes status, and considering the options, I'll most likely stick with A for the time being. That being the case, I won't be able to get my 3SGT rank until I pass my IPPT twice.

sigh..

my breakdown in pocket money :
approx.
- Transport : $100
- Insurance (monthly) : $75+$12 = $87
- SAF Magazine : $4.50
- SAFRA Membership : $15
- Average Army Equipment Expenditure : $10

total : $217

Total allowance given : $400
Total gross (literally) allowance : $183

Meals consumed outside : (6 days x 4 weeks) x (approx $5) = $120
Sporting Expenses = (3 days x 4 weeks) x ($2.50) = $26
Health expenditure = $20

total misc expenditure : $166

Total gross allowance : $183
Total net allowance carried forward : $17


*vomits blood*

and I havn't even calculated my handphone bill, internet bill expenditures yet.

I'm still yet to get Nicholas a Christmas present, and I'm yet to return my elder brother quite a huge lump of money...


*cough*

sigh... =/

broke as broke can be.




Anywayz, my schedule for the next week's evenings is as follows.

Monday - Swim at CSC
Tuesday - Gym at 1-7 or CSC
Wednesday - Run
Thursday - Gym at CSC
Friday - Register for driving lessons at Bukit Batok Driving School
Sat - Band practice
Sun - REST (important)



sigh.. I hardly even have time for my dear...
but he has exams too...

arrrgh..


well... I have another exam tomorrow on....
(*looks around for SAF spies)

well.. I have another exam tomorrow on... the 101 uses of Giraffes.

ok.

yup.

*stares blankly*
*comatose*


-andrew is currently in extreme sleep deprivation mode-

Information Overload

sometimes, desperate times call for desperate measures....

ARRGH!! SO MUCH TO STUDY ITS KILLING ME!!!
o.O
X.X

I sit at the computer 8 hours straight in a row, only pausing to go for lunch. I sit at the computer to JAM INFORMATION into my brain!!

wtf right?

zzzz... sucks sucks sucks... i'm so tired...

heh..


.... but life is still good. =)

New Beginnings, Old Endings...

Argh.. I can't believe I havn't blogged for so long...

(note : the author partially blames Google for that, for inventing that highly probing spell-checker that declares that my utterly comprehensible and grammatically coherent Singlish is WRONG. And of course, distracts me with a glaring red line underneath my utterly comprehensible and grammatically coherent Singalish.)

People in the army really have no life.
As such, because blogging is generally for people with life, I'm currently excluded from the multitudes WITH life.

... grr...

haha. But I'm not complaining.... Lots of my friends are fuming at my current posting to a nice little unit called SAFAS to be an AMMO TECH.
bah. Its nothing to be exceptionally proud about.....

.. other then the fact that I don't have to go through countless field camps, outfields, tekan sessions, turnouts, physical torture, mental depression, confinement and live under the shadow of being thrown into Detention Barracks anytime.

.... and I can become a Sergeant too.

wowee.

=X

uhh... yah.. I don't even know if this information is confidential... zZz....


oh.. anywayz, the main purpose why I'm writing this blog post ain't to rant about my half-witted, unpurposeful life.

its to add some wit and purpose to my year ahead... with my YEARLY NEW YEAR RESOLUTION!

yup.

yup..

... yup....

err... hmmm... I definitely havn't thought about it yet...

*go plays DoTA for awhile*

back!

yup... Bone Fletch told me to do a few things this year

1) Go to the gym AT LEAST twice a week.

2) Save up AT LEAST $50, on top of my $75 insurance per month.

3) Get my Driving License (for car one lah... I'm going to slap the next person who says "fork-lift")

4) Apply for a business degree in either NUS or SMU

5) GET a place in NUS or SMU

6) Don't go out unnecessarily so much this year

7) Try and impress Alvin's parents (probably by pretending I'm a really, really good boy, and doing well in my studies, and being a nice polite boy, and help out in the housework... 'then would you please let me date your son? pweese... pwetty pweese....')

8) Train my shoulders, abs and legs. Focus on endurance rather then musculature.

9) Do 3 things that will impress Alvin.

10) Get a part time job?

sigh... I'm so lovesick.. =/
*hugs Alvin tight*

End of 2007...reflections

As I step into the year of 2008, I cant help but reflect on what 2007 meant for me. It was a year where I marked a milestone in my life and that milestone turned out to be a new direction which I had been anticipating for since 3 years ago.

2007 was also a year that I discovered new friends while some old friends of mine faded away quietly...I guess, this is part of the renovation that is going through my life now. The renovation is almost complete..=)

2007 also brought many opprtunities on the stock market, although I had a slight regret for not selling of before the market crashed in August. Nevertheless my portfolio outperformed the market with an annualised returns of 25% p.a excluding dividends.

Its been one great year for me and looking forward, I expect 2008 to be a year of surprises, twist and joy. :D

Happy New Year Everyone!!!